I’m in that funky space of just having finished a book I got so into that I don’t want to start another one because there’s no way it’ll be as good. Know what I mean? In case you’re wondering… the book is Sweet Thing by Renee Carlino. And I’m not alone. The reviews of this book are crazy good. Check it out for yourself on Goodreads and Amazon.

So Renee and I were chatting yesterday about how much I loved her book when I asked her to write a guest post for me – for the very next day! Can you believe this busy working mom and author said yes? Wait till you see what she wrote! Kind of ironic that she wrote about the thrill of escaping into a book right when I was mourning the loss of my escape into her book! But this is not your everyday tribute to the joy of reading; it comes complete with Renee’s riveting real-life labor and delivery story! This woman is quite the storyteller!

Here’s today’s guest post by highly acclaimed author of Sweet Thing, an Amazon top 100 bestseller:

It’s Why I Read

Life can be an excruciatingly mundane series of days, freckled with brief moments of joy, ecstasy, and sorrow. The daily grind can become so mind-numbingly boring that we find ourselves drifting off to places completely unlike reality.

It’s why I read.

Books are full of moments that get your blood pumping or your mind running or the tears flowing. It’s shameless, unabashed escapism when I read stories that have characters nothing like the people in my real life. There are heroes always doing the right thing and looking sexy while they’re doing it. There are heroines who are near perfect, yet plain enough a slate for me to project myself onto.

With books, whether reading or writing them, I can be anyone I want to be. In real life, I’ve tried to be a tough girl. One who was in control, who didn’t need someone to take care of her. My husband admitted that his decision to marry me was based on the fact that I was willing to rappel down a mountain, in knee high mud, from a rope attached to the back of a pick-up truck. He wanted a partner and I wanted an equal. We both won.

But, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that once in a while, I lie in bed and imagine what would happen if I were struck by lightning or run over by a Mack truck. Suddenly my husband and I become characters in a book. I’m in a sterile hospital room, clinging to life. I know its dramatic and ridiculous and horrible, but don’t pretend like you don’t do it too. You don’t imagine everyone at your bedside, rooting for you to pull through? With a few people crying and mumbling that they won’t be able to go on without you? Well in my fantasy, my guy picks me up and whisks me away, announcing that he can take better care of me than anyone else. Ha!

It’s why I read.

In my real life, I’m in labor for the second time in two years. I call the doctor, “Hey doc, I’m in labor. It’s happening fast; I wanted to let you know.”

“Renee, I just saw you this morning, you weren’t even dilated; take a bath, relax.”

“Whatever!” I hang up and call my friend.

“Hey, get over here, I need you to watch my kid, I’m in labor.”

“I just saw you this morning, it’s probably false—what are those called? Braxton Hicks?”

“Get your ass over here NOW!”

“See you in a few.” She hangs up. My husband is inflating a giant exercise ball with a foot pump. He’s staring at the ceiling.

“Hurry up! My back hurts, I need to bounce.”

My friend arrives to find me rocking back and forth on my hands and knees with my ass in the air. “Oh shit, you really are in labor.”

Between contractions I run out to the car carrying all of my bags, my exercise ball, and a giant body pillow. My husband is nowhere to be found. Fifteen minutes later he meanders out to the car, carrying nothing but his cell phone and a burrito.

“Really? You made a burrito? Now?”

“I was hungry. Hospital food is gross.”

“You don’t HAVE TO EAT IT! OWWWWWW, DRIVE!”

When we arrive at the hospital the front entrance is closed and there is no parking near the E.R. My husband drops me off. I waddle in and within moments I am in a wheelchair entering my labor and delivery room. I change into one of those stupid gowns and then tear it off two minutes later. There is one nurse in the room. She is frantically arranging a table full of sheets and instruments while I’m moaning and gripping the sides of the bed. She is about four feet, ten inches tall. I can barely see her through my spread, bent knees. I grab the backs of my thighs.

“I have to push!”

She glances up at me and then checks me down below and says, “Okay.”

“Are you going to catch him?”

“Yes, sweetie, I’m going to catch him.”

My husband enters the room looking like he’s just strolled in for afternoon tea.

“Where the hell were you?”

“I went to 7-11 to get a pack of gum.”

“Are you INSANE? OUCH!”

Two pushes and our youngest has arrived. He’s wailing in the arms of the tiny nurse. She plops him on my naked belly as the doctor finally strolls in.

“I told you.” I glare at the doctor while she slips on her gloves. “I almost had him in the car.”

“Renee, I’m sorry, it’s just not very common for labor to come on that fast.” She says.

I wanted to ask if she was getting paid for the delivery. I thought I should have a say in who gets paid for catching the kid. My vote was for the little nurse.

After I’m cleaned up, they move me to a wheelchair, drop the baby burrito into my arms and begin wheeling me to recovery. As we pass the nurses station, a woman tosses a turkey sandwich, wrapped in cellophane, onto my lap. I scowl.

“Sorry sweetie, the cafeteria is closed, this is all we have.”

I glance at the clock and realize I’ve only been in the hospital for thirty-five minutes and I haven’t even had so much as a Tylenol. I look down at baby burrito and he looks directly into my eyes. The look is worth every single ache and pain and I’d do it all over again, right now!

I glance up to my husband who is walking behind me. He looks leery for first time ever, “What just happened?”

“We had a baby, well I had the baby, you just sat there and watched.”

He smiles and bends to kiss my forehead.

“You did good, babe.”

I guess that’s life, a painful or beautiful moment that is just a fleeting spark across a starless sky. Lucky for us, we can pick up a book and get all of those cosmic thrills while we’re curled up on the couch after work.

It’s why I read.

**From Patricia: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed Renee’s guest post as much as I did.  Check out her website: Renee Carlino